In honor of the new Raha phone app, A funny, light reading column where I am not preaching the Gospel of Dog for once! If my phone were ever found by a person that didn't know me, someone would have a real laugh!Below I give a sample of some of the texts that stand out in my memory. " Simba snuck upstairs and ate my good heels, grrrrrrr. No time to shop, so now I have to go to the Australian Ball with flip flops under my ball gown" " I saw online that you give away free dogs, so I want a GSD 1 year old, Boerboel male and female puppies and a Rottweiler male, just sms for directions to deliver them" "thanks for the great idea, Taz is happily chewing a carrot right now" followed by another text that evening "the lounge floor looks like I could make cole slaw in here, but he hasn't chewed any furniture all day!" " I am too embarrassed to ring the vet, but my dog has just eaten a pair of my underwear out of the laundry basket, can I wait or should I take the dog to the vet" " The Vet at XXXX vet clinic says my dog has a heart condition, do you think thats true?" "Please help, I think the puppy ate some small nails while the fundi was here and the vet is closed just now" This puppy was given some full fat milk and soft white bread to form a slimey bulk around the nails if she did, in fact, eat any. The puppy went to the vet clinic a few hours later when they reopened and had an Xray. Next text "yes, she ate some. Vet counted 8 nails. He gave her 48 hours to pass them, so we wait, if they don't come out she will have to have surgery" followed later that evening by " two down, 6 to go" and so on for the next couple days. Thankfully for the puppy, no surgery required! "oh, YAY, she pooped on the newspaper" "Will this whining ever stop? Please tell me it will, I haven't slept in 3 days" "How much for teaching my dog to bite people" "Can you tell me how many Macadamia nuts are toxic, and should I make her throw up?" followed by another text "How do you get a dog to throw up" My all time favorite sms' were from a family whose dog ate baking supplies.... sticks of butter, chocolate chips and so on. "We just got home and Tusker looks like a coke addict, he has eaten most of a 2 kilo bag of sugar, should we be worried?" Happy training everyone!!